First date nerves are perfectly normal. We suggest going somewhere fairly informal for a first date like a coffee shop or walk in the park rather than a meal, just in case you don't like the person and want out. Approach each date as if you are going to meet a potential friend and take it from there - don;t get your expectations up and if it works out better than expected then see it as a bonus.
Asking Someone Out
- Approach the person with a big smile and introduce yourself. Use our tips for flirting to begin a conversation.
- If you feel that you are getting positive vibes ask them for a telephone number and say that you would love to contact them again.
- If you are successful ring them in a few days and re-introduce yourself reminding them where you met. Keep the conversation informal but brief and suggest a coffee to begin with. If they decline end the conversation and don't dwell on it.
- If you do meet decide whether you want to see them again and ask them out on a more formal date such as dinner.
Make an Impression on a First Date
- Consider where you will go. You will want an environment in which you can hold a conversation and get to know each other so a club or the cinema might not be ideal. Think carefully about your budget and ensure you have enough cash or funds on your credit card to avoid any awkwardness.
- This may be age of equality but chivalry is not over - if you are male assume you are paying, if you are female let him pay but take some funds just in case he has other ideas, and certainly have enough for a taxi should you wish to make a hasty exit!
- What you wear will depend upon your choice of venue but if you are dressing up ensure that you are comfortable as you will be much more relaxed and confident. Accentuate your best features but consider carefully the impression you want to give, for example if you have nice legs show them off but don't let the skirt get too short if you are looking for more than a one night stand. Ask a friend of the opposite sex to help you decide what to wear.
- When you meet your date compliment them on something such as their dress or choice of venue. Be polite at all times and use our tips for flirting, paying particular attention to your body language.
- Be yourself and let your natural charm win them over. Show that you have a sense of humour and smile, but don't try too hard to please or be pushy. Let your date have enough information about you to keep them interested but don't go into too much personal history or detail - keep them intrigued.
- Concentrate on finding out all about the other person rather than talking exclusively about yourself. If the conversation starts to dry up ask open ended questions, for example what kind of work do you do, have you lived in this area for long, what are your interests? Bring in current news and topical issues and ask for their views.
- Take things as they come and trust your instincts. If by the end of the night it doesn't feel right thank them and leave politely. If you do want to move things forward do not be afraid to take the initiative. Invite them back for coffee if you feel inclined or suggest that you ring them later in the week. If you are unsure where you stand leave it open with "this was great, let's do it again soon". You will get some indication of whether the other person shares your feelings in their response.