When one parent leaves it can be very hard to deal with, especially when the adults are caught up in their own problems. It will take time to get used to it and adjust and you are likely to experience all sorts of feelings.
It might help to make a list of some of the feelings you have. You will probably find that if you do the same in a month's time they have changed. This is perfectly normal, no-one can feel the same all the time and sometimes we experience lots of different feelings at once.
Here are some of the ways you may feel:
sad, angry, stressed, lonely, worried, helpless, isolated, frustrated, guilty, uncertain, fearful, anxious, ignored, annoyed, unhappy, brave, upset, tearful, responsible, confused, let-down, unconfident, embarrased, nervous, hurt, unloved
The following might help:
- Don't bottle things up. If you are feeling angry, upset, unsure or anything that makes you feel bad talk to someone such as a trusted friend or adult such as your teacher or a relative
- Express your feelings by writing poetry, keeping a diary, painting, playing music or whatever helps you to express yourself
- Take physical exercise. Try swimming, football or boxing, whatever you feel like doing. Your school or local sports centre should be able to help you find something you like
- If you find that it is difficult to make the grown-ups listen to you, write to them. Let them know how you are feeling and how they can help you to feel better
- Remember that you have the right to your own feelings independently of your parents. They may have bad feelings or be upset with one another, but they shouldn't involve you in those feelings
- Do something to channel your anger. Hit a pillow, tear up a cardboard box or write an angry letter, but destroy it before anybody finds it
- Concentrate on school and exams. If you have problems at home, realise that school is your time away and rest from it. Don't make more problems for yourself by getting angry with others and getting into trouble. If you have tests or exams coming up check out our weblinks for sites that can help you deal with exam pressure