Abuse isn’t just physical. It can come in many forms, including the silent treatment.
We often think of ghosting as something somebody does when they want to end a relationship but don’t have the nerve to tell you, so they just cut you off, but some people ghost during a relationship and leave you hanging. They are bound to repeat this behaviour. So be warned.
I was ghosted in February 2020. I thought it was over. I was cut off for over a month, so reason given, no phone call, nothing.
I stupidly took him back. He told me he had cut me off for own good, to make me stronger as I was struggling with depression at the time. Then weeks later finally admitted it was because a joke I had made to his friends that had upset him as his friends ‘thought very highly of him.’
Then in June of the same year he cut me off again. This time because I dared to ask him to support me on the anniversary of my Dad’s death and got upset that he wasn’t there for me. This time the ghosting last for three weeks.
You know what, you guessed it, I took him back. He told me this time that it was because he didn’t do ‘high emotion.’
I took him back. But this time with one condition – that he never gave me the silent treatment again. I pointed out how abusive the behaviour was. I explained that in moments of ‘high emotion’ as he called it, I needed reassurance and a hug.
Fast forward, 2022, it happened again, only this time after I had ended the relationship. We got back together and he claimed never to have cut me off following the split when I had emailed him about our outstanding work contracts together. He said that the emails must have gone into junk.
We got back together and he went on holiday alone, without asking me. A few weeks later and he was offered the chance to work for free in Mallorca. We agreed that I would meet him out there and spend some time with him.
24 hours after arriving in Mallorca I had heard nothing. I was in a hotel room on my own. SO I posted something on social media – he called me, got angry, hung up and that was it. He didn’t even ask where I was when I missed the flight. I was left in a foreign country alone.
So there you have it, once a ghoster always a ghoster. Be warned!
