A good barrister knows the law; a great barrister knows the judge.
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20 Reasons Why Chocolate is Better Than Sex
1. You can GET chocolate
2. You can safely have chocolate when you are driving
3. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft
4. If you bite the nuts too hard it won’t mind
5. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to
6. You can have chocolate even in front of your mother
7. “If you love me you’ll swallow that” has real meaning with chocolate
8. Chocolate doesn’t leave a nasty after taste
9. The word “commitment” doesn’t scare off chocolate
10. You can have chocolate on top of your desk without upsetting your workmate
11. Chocolate doesn’t answer back
12. You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped
13. You don’t get hairs in your mouth with chocolate
14. With chocolate there’s no need to fake it
15. Chocolate doesn’t make you pregnant
16. You can have chocolate at any time of the month
17. Good chocolate is easy to find
18. You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle
19. When you have chocolate it doesn’t keep your housemates awake
20. With chocolate size doesn’t matter, its always good!
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A man asked his wife what she’d like for her birthday. “I’d love to be six again,” she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park.
What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of
Fear, everything there was! Wow!
Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down.
Right to a McDonald’s they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a
refreshing chocolate milk shake.
Then it was off to a movie, the latest Disney – “Finding Nemo”, a hot dog, popcorn, Coke, and Maltesers.
What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked:
“Well, dear, what was it like being six again?”
One eye opened. “You idiot, I meant my dress size.”
The moral of this story:
Even when the man is listening, he’s still going to get it wrong.
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