Heartbreak is grief. It’s very real. It’s emotional. It’s physical. It’s psychological.

Repairing from heartbreak is a grieving process. It’s similar to bereavement; every form of loss carries some emotional toll. 

Everyone is different, but a typical heartbreak journey will include:

• Shock. If the relationship ended suddenly, you may experience shock and trauma. You may act erratically. You may send messages and do things you wouldn’t do normally. You are not ill – don’t let somebody gaslight you into thinking that – shock and trauma causes knee-jerk reactions that are a natural part of the initial stage of heartbreak.
  
  
• Denial. You may not accept that it’s over. You might think that it’s all been some horrible mistake and your person will come to their senses. You may expect a knock at the door or a phone call and believe that this somehow will sort itself out.
  
  
• Bargaining. You may beg and plead and try and rationalise with the person who ended it. You may point out how good you were together. You may not accept that it’s over and spend sometime expecting them to realise what a mistake they have made and come back.
  
  
• Anger. This is especially so if you have been cheated on or treated badly. You may send angry messages. You may take their stuff back or even take it to a charity shop. You may be angry not only with them but with yourself if you feel that you have a part to play in the breakup.
  
  
• Sadness. Depression, anxiety and intense grief may manifest in different ways. It can hurt physically in a specific part of your body, you may not eat or drink or do anything to numb the pain. You may even have suicidal thought. These thoughts are normal; however, if you are seriously considering harming yourself visit the helplines section of this website and get immediate thought. This phase of grief can take months but it is only temporary and you will get past it.
  
  
• Acceptance. Eventually you will accept the ending of this connection and have the strength and courage to move on. There may be PTSD or trauma if you have been in an abusive relationship, but you will start to work those feelings and heal.