Coping with Feelings

Losing someone you love is one of the hardest things you can go through. When someone close to you passes away, it’s normal to feel a lot of different emotions. These feelings can be confusing, and you might not always know what to do with them. That’s okay! Let’s talk about how you can understand and deal with these feelings.

What Is Bereavement?

Bereavement is a word that means the time we spend mourning, or feeling sad, after someone dies. It’s a process that everyone goes through when they lose someone special. During this time, you might feel lots of different emotions, and that’s completely normal.

Common Feelings After Losing Someone

When you lose someone, you might feel:

- Sadness: You may feel very sad and cry a lot because you miss the person who has died. This is the most common feeling after a loss.

- Anger: Sometimes, you might feel angry. You might wonder, “Why did this happen?” or “Why did they have to leave?”

- Confusion: You might feel confused, especially if the death was unexpected. You could have lots of questions and not all of them will have easy answers.

- Guilt: You might feel guilty and think, “I wish I had spent more time with them” or “I should have told them I loved them more.” It’s important to remember that these thoughts are normal, but they don’t mean you did anything wrong.

- Fear: Losing someone can make you feel scared. You might worry about losing other people you love or be afraid of what life will be like without that person.

How to Cope with These Feelings

Dealing with all these feelings can be tough, but there are ways to help yourself feel better:

1. Talk About Your Feelings: It’s really helpful to talk about how you’re feeling. You can talk to a parent, a teacher, a friend, or anyone you trust. Letting out your feelings can make you feel less alone.

1. Write It Down: Sometimes, writing about your feelings in a journal or drawing pictures can help you understand them better. It’s a safe way to express what’s going on inside.

1. Remember the Good Times: Think about the happy memories you have with the person who died. You can look at pictures, share stories, or do something that reminds you of them. This can help you feel connected to them even though they’re no longer here.

1. Allow Yourself to Feel: It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused. Don’t try to hide your emotions or pretend you’re okay when you’re not. Crying is a healthy way to express sadness, and it’s important to let your feelings out.

1. Take Care of Yourself: Grief can be exhausting, so make sure you’re eating well, getting enough sleep, and doing things you enjoy. Taking care of your body can help you feel better emotionally too.

1. Be Patient: Grieving takes time. There’s no right or wrong way to feel, and there’s no set time for when you’ll start feeling better. Be patient with yourself and know that it’s okay to take as long as you need.

It’s Okay to Ask for Help

If your feelings are too big to handle on your own, or if you’re feeling really sad for a long time, it’s important to ask for help. Talk to an adult you trust. They can help you find someone, like a counsellor, who can help you work through your feelings.

Remember, You’re Not Alone

Everyone experiences grief differently, but no one has to go through it alone. There are people around you who care about you and want to help. Even though it might not feel like it right now, things will get better with time.

Losing someone you love is hard, but by understanding your feelings and taking steps to cope with them, you can start to heal. It’s okay to feel sad, but it’s also okay to smile when you think of the good times you shared.