Seven months into a relationship — yes, seven months — I was ghosted.
If you’re not familiar with the term, ghosting is when someone cuts off all contact without explanation. No call, no message, no closure. While it’s often associated with early dating, it’s far more unsettling when it happens after months of emotional investment.
Unfortunately, that’s exactly what happened to me.
At the time, everything felt stable and secure. We spoke every single day, and there were no obvious signs that anything was wrong. I was also approaching a legal hearing that I was anxious about, and he had reassured me that he would support me through it.
However, five days before that event, something shifted.
We were on the phone, and I made a light-hearted comment — the kind of joke we had shared countless times before. This time, though, he reacted differently. He became angry, ended the call abruptly, and from that moment on, everything changed.
Suddenly, there was silence.
No explanation. No follow-up. No closure.
The Impact of Being Ghosted
When someone disappears like that, it doesn’t just end the relationship — instead, it leaves you in a state of uncertainty.
At first, I didn’t know whether it was truly over. I questioned what I had said, what I had done, and whether I would hear from him again. As a result, I tried to reach out. I texted, called, emailed and even contacted mutual friends.
Yet, despite all of that, there was nothing. Just silence.
At the same time, I was already dealing with anxiety — something he was fully aware of. Therefore, being left without answers intensified everything. I began to question my worth, my actions and my place in the relationship.
Eventually, that uncertainty became overwhelming.
Those first few weeks felt incredibly long. I reached out to helplines, sought support and, at my lowest point, struggled to see a way forward. In that sense, ghosting is not just a breakup — it’s a form of emotional abandonment without closure.
Finding Strength Again
Over time, though, things began to shift.
With the support of friends and family, and by slowly reconnecting with myself, I started to regain a sense of stability. Gradually, I began to see things more clearly.
In fact, after about a month, I reached an important realisation. I hadn’t done anything wrong. More importantly, I had made it through one of the most difficult emotional experiences I had faced.
Although the pain didn’t disappear overnight, it became more manageable. In a way, the lack of contact helped create distance, which allowed the intensity of the situation to fade.
However, despite that progress, I made a decision I would later regret.
I took him back.
When They Come Back
When he returned, he offered an explanation that, at the time, felt convincing. He claimed that cutting me off had been “for my own good” and that it had helped me become stronger.
Looking back, that reasoning doesn’t hold up. Nevertheless, in that moment, I wanted to believe it.
As a result, the reunion felt emotional and significant. I convinced myself that everything had happened for a reason and that perhaps this was a turning point.
However, a few weeks later, the truth emerged.
He admitted that the issue had actually stemmed from a misunderstanding. He believed I had said something negative about him, and rather than asking or clarifying, he chose to cut me off entirely.
By that stage, though, I was already back in the relationship.
For a while, everything seemed to settle again. In fact, things felt good — even better than before.
Until, inevitably, the pattern repeated itself.
The Second Time Hurts More
Several months later, I was approaching the anniversary of losing a parent. Naturally, this was a difficult time, and I reached out for support.
This time, however, he didn’t show up.
Instead, I found myself alone. As the evening went on, I drank more than I should have and eventually sent messages expressing how I felt — asking where he was and why I didn’t matter in that moment.
They weren’t perfect messages. However, they were honest. They reflected pain, not anger.
And yet, once again, the response was the same.
Silence.
I was ghosted for a second time.
If anything, that experience was even more painful. Not only had the relationship lasted longer, but I had also ignored the warning signs and chosen to go back.
What Being Ghosted Taught Me
- Avoidance is not emotional strength
Rather than facing conflict, some people choose to disappear. However, healthy relationships rely on communication, even when it’s uncomfortable. - Charm can be misleading
Although someone may appear kind and well-liked, that doesn’t always translate into emotional maturity. - You can’t force communication
No matter how much you explain or reach out, you cannot make someone respond if they choose not to. - Closure often comes from within
While it’s natural to want answers, they don’t always come. Therefore, healing has to come from acceptance, not explanation. - You will grow through it
Although painful, experiences like this reveal your strength, your resilience and your capacity to care. - Patterns are important
If someone has a history of cutting people off, it’s unlikely to be a one-off. Instead, it’s a pattern. - It’s not about your worth
Being ghosted reflects their behaviour, not your value. - Trust takes time to rebuild
After an experience like this, hesitation is normal. However, it doesn’t mean everyone will behave the same way. - Pain can be redirected into purpose
In my case, this experience led me to focus on helping others going through similar situations. - If they’ve done it before, they’ll likely do it again
Ultimately, behaviour patterns tend to repeat unless there is real accountability and change.
Moving Forward
If you’ve been ghosted, it’s completely normal to feel hurt, confused or even lost for a while.
However, this experience does not define you.
You are not disposable.
You are not “too much”.
And you are not the problem.
Instead, you are someone who showed up, cared deeply and invested in a relationship.
That is something to value — not question.
In time, you will move forward. And when you do, you’ll do so with greater clarity, stronger boundaries and a deeper understanding of what you truly deserve.
