Pets: Custody & Visitation

During separation or divorce, pets are often overlooked. However, animals can pick up on stress, tension and changes in routine. As a result, they may feel unsettled, anxious or confused.

At the same time, deciding who keeps the pet can become emotional, especially when both people have formed a strong bond.

Taking a calm and practical approach will help you make the best decision for everyone involved, including your pet.

How are pets treated in divorce?

In England and Wales, pets are usually treated as property in legal terms.

This means the court focuses on ownership rather than emotional attachment. However, where possible, it is far better to agree arrangements between yourselves rather than relying on the court.

What should I think about when deciding who keeps the pet?

The priority should always be your pet’s welfare.

Consider who can provide the most stable and suitable environment. This includes time, living arrangements, financial ability and routine.

For example, if one person works long hours or lives in accommodation that does not allow pets, this may not be the best option.

Consistency is important. Pets tend to cope better when they remain in a familiar environment with a predictable routine.

How can I support my pet during separation?

Your pet may need extra reassurance during this time.

Try to keep feeding, walking and sleeping routines consistent. This helps reduce anxiety and provides a sense of stability.

Spend time with your pet and offer comfort. Simple things, such as regular walks or quiet time together, can help both of you cope.

If you notice changes in behaviour, such as loss of appetite or unusual aggression, it may be worth speaking to your vet.

Can pets be shared between households?

In some cases, couples agree to share care of a pet.

However, this does not work for all animals. Frequent changes in environment can be stressful, particularly for older pets or those that rely on routine.

If you do consider shared care, think carefully about whether it is truly in your pet’s best interests.

How can pets support children during divorce?

Pets can be a source of comfort for children during separation.

If the pet does not live with them full time, encourage regular contact where possible. Even small things, such as photos or updates, can help children feel connected.

In some cases, children may find it helpful to write about or talk to their pet, especially if they are struggling to express their emotions.

What should I avoid?

Avoid arguing or raising your voice in front of your pet. They can sense tension and may become anxious.

Do not take out frustration or anger on your pet. They are not responsible for what is happening.

Try not to use your pet as a bargaining tool. Decisions should be based on welfare, not emotion or conflict.

Avoid separating children from their pets unless it is necessary. The bond between them can be very strong and provide important emotional support.

When should I seek advice?

If you are unsure what is best for your pet, your vet can offer guidance on behaviour and wellbeing.

For legal questions, particularly if there is a dispute, you may wish to speak to a solicitor.

What is the most important thing to remember?

Pets are part of your family.

During divorce, they need stability, care and reassurance just as much as you do. By focusing on their needs and keeping decisions calm and practical, you can help them adjust to the changes.