It is completely normal to wonder what will happen after your parents separate. You might be worried about when you will see your other parent or what it will be like.
In most families, children continue to see both parents. This is often called contact or spending time together.
What Does Contact Mean?
Contact can happen in different ways:
- Spending time together
Visiting a parent at their home, going out, or doing things you enjoy together - Staying in touch
Phone calls, video calls, or messages if you do not live nearby - Sharing special moments
Birthdays, holidays, and important events
Every family is different, so contact arrangements will depend on what your parents agree is best for you.
What If Things Are Decided by a Court?
Sometimes parents cannot agree, and a court may help make decisions.
In England and Wales, the court focuses on what is best for you. You might hear about an organisation called Cafcass.
A Cafcass worker’s job is to:
- Talk to you about how you feel
- Make sure your voice is heard
- Help the court understand what is best for you
You may get a chance to share your thoughts, depending on your age and what feels comfortable.
What About Safety?
Most children see both parents, but your safety always comes first.
If there are concerns about safety, adults and the court will make sure:
- You are protected
- Any contact is safe for you
- Changes are made if needed
If something does not feel safe, it is really important to tell a trusted adult.
If You Feel Unsure or Upset
It is okay to have mixed feelings about seeing a parent. You might feel:
- Happy and excited
- Nervous or unsure
- Sad or confused
All of these feelings are normal.
You can:
- Talk to a teacher, family member, or counsellor
- Ask questions about what is happening
- Share what would help you feel more comfortable
A Gentle Reminder
This is about you and your wellbeing.
You are allowed to:
- Love both parents
- Have your own feelings
- Speak up about what you need
You should not be put in the middle of adult disagreements.
You Are Not Alone
Lots of children go through this, and there are people whose job is to help make sure you feel safe, heard, and supported.
