Why You Start Researching Narcissism (And Then Talk Yourself Out of It)
You didn’t go looking for this… it found you Most people don’t wake up one day and decide to start researching narcissism. It usually starts quietly. You notice patterns that don’t feel right. Conversations that leave you confused. Situations where you walk away thinking, ‘How did that end up being my fault?’ So you Google […]
Why You Don’t Need Closure from a Narcissist
After a relationship ends, it’s natural to want answers. You may find yourself replaying conversations, analysing what happened or hoping for one final explanation that makes it all make sense. However, when the relationship involved narcissistic traits or patterns, closure often doesn’t come in the way you expect — and more importantly, it isn’t something […]
Object Constancy in Narcissism
If you have been in a relationship that felt intense, confusing and emotionally draining, you may have experienced the effects of poor object constancy. Understanding object constancy in narcissism can help you make sense of why someone seemed loving one moment and distant or cold the next. What Is Object Constancy? Object constancy is the […]
The 9 Criteria of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Experts use 9 criteria to diagnose somebody with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). The term narcissism is used a lot, and often incorrectly. It’s important to say this clearly: only a qualified professional can diagnose narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). You cannot diagnose your ex, and this article is not here to label anyone. However, understanding the […]
How to Break a Trauma Bond
A trauma bond is a strong emotional attachment that forms in a relationship marked by inconsistency, control or emotional harm. It often develops through cycles of: This pattern creates confusion. You may feel deeply attached to someone who is also causing you distress. Over time, the bond can become difficult to break, even when you […]
9 Types of Gaslighting: How to Recognise It and Trust Yourself Again
What is gaslighting? Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation designed to make you question your own reality, memory, and feelings. Over time, it can leave you doubting yourself so deeply that you begin to rely on the other person’s version of events instead of your own. It doesn’t always start obvious. In fact, it […]
Flying Monkeys: When Other People Get Pulled Into the Narrative
A flying monkey is someone who gets pulled into another person’s narrative and, often without realising it, acts on their behalf by repeating their version of events, questioning you, or applying pressure. In most cases, they believe they are helping or offering support, but they rely on a one-sided story that someone else has already […]
Why Narcissism Forms: Understanding the Roots Behind the Behaviour
Imagine this… Imagine a young boy. Let’s call him Jonny. He’s sitting quietly at the top of the stairs, hearing voices raised below. His dad is angry again. His mum is upset. This isn’t new — but tonight feels different. Later, Jonny sees something he can’t unsee. His dad with another woman. The betrayal is […]
When the “dog lover” isn’t a dog lover
It starts with what you believe Imagine being with someone who tells the world they are a dog lover, in fact they love all animals because only the animals get them! Not casually, but as part of who they are. You see it in what they say and how they present themselves. Other people see […]
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: My Story
When I first met him, I thought I’d simply met someone fun and charismatic — good-looking, successful and a little too flashy to take seriously. I assumed it would just be a fling. On our first date, he talked openly about a stripper called Victoria and referred to her as his “girlfriend” to anyone who […]
Let’s Talk About Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where someone causes you to question your own thoughts, feelings or reality — even when you haven’t done anything wrong. At times, it may appear subtle or even unintentional. However, in more serious cases, it can involve convincing you that you are the problem — that you are […]
How to spot a Narcissist
Want to now how to spot a narcissist? Narcissism is a term that’s often used loosely, and as a result, it can be misunderstood. Not all abusive behaviour is linked to narcissism, and equally, not everyone with narcissistic traits is abusive. However, there can sometimes be an overlap, particularly in how certain behaviours show up […]