Socipathy and Domestic Violence
When people try to make sense of an abusive relationship, the word narcissist comes up constantly. It has become the default explanation for controlling, manipulative or cruel behaviour — and while narcissistic traits are genuinely relevant in many cases, they do not tell the whole story. Some abusers are not narcissists. Some display traits more […]
Can I Get Help For My Abusive Partner?
If you are asking this question, it is likely coming from a place of genuine love. You see something in this person worth fighting for. You believe that with the right support, things could be different. That instinct is not naive — it is deeply human, and it says a great deal about who you […]
Why Are Some People Abusive? The Many Reasons Behind Abusive Behaviour
When somebody has abused you, one of the hardest questions to stop asking is why? Why would someone who said they loved you deliberately hurt you? Why did they need to control you? Why did they lie, intimidate, humiliate or manipulate you? Why could they be charming to everybody else and completely different behind closed […]
When Women Say ‘I’m Scared’ — Why Are We Still Not Listening?
Two women are dead. Two separate cases. Two different cities. Both stories have reignited public anger around violence against women, coercive control and whether authorities recognise warning signs early enough. In Bristol, 35-year-old Jo Shaw died in an explosion after police said her former partner forced entry to a property while carrying an explosive device. […]
Why You Start Researching Narcissism (And Then Talk Yourself Out of It)
You didn’t go looking for this… it found you Most people don’t wake up one day and decide to start researching narcissism. It usually starts quietly. You notice patterns that don’t feel right. Conversations that leave you confused. Situations where you walk away thinking, ‘How did that end up being my fault?’ So you Google […]
Why You Don’t Need Closure from a Narcissist
After a relationship ends, it’s natural to want answers. You may find yourself replaying conversations, analysing what happened or hoping for one final explanation that makes it all make sense. However, when the relationship involved narcissistic traits or patterns, closure often doesn’t come in the way you expect — and more importantly, it isn’t something […]
Object Constancy in Narcissism
If you have been in a relationship that felt intense, confusing and emotionally draining, you may have experienced the effects of poor object constancy. Understanding object constancy in narcissism can help you make sense of why someone seemed loving one moment and distant or cold the next. What Is Object Constancy? Object constancy is the […]
The 9 Criteria of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Experts use 9 criteria to diagnose somebody with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). The term narcissism is used a lot, and often incorrectly. It’s important to say this clearly: only a qualified professional can diagnose narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). You cannot diagnose your ex, and this article is not here to label anyone. However, understanding the […]
How to Break a Trauma Bond
A trauma bond is a strong emotional attachment that forms in a relationship marked by inconsistency, control or emotional harm. It often develops through cycles of: This pattern creates confusion. You may feel deeply attached to someone who is also causing you distress. Over time, the bond can become difficult to break, even when you […]
9 Types of Gaslighting: How to Recognise It and Trust Yourself Again
Gaslighting is one of the most insidious forms of emotional abuse. It works by quietly dismantling your trust in your own mind, leaving you confused, anxious, and increasingly dependent on your abuser for your sense of reality. And the most dangerous thing about it? It happens so gradually that most people don’t realise it’s happening […]
Flying Monkeys: When Other People Get Pulled Into the Narrative
A flying monkey is someone who gets pulled into another person’s narrative and, often without realising it, acts on their behalf by repeating their version of events, questioning you, or applying pressure. In most cases, they believe they are helping or offering support, but they rely on a one-sided story that someone else has already […]
Why Narcissism Forms: Understanding the Roots Behind the Behaviour
Imagine this… Imagine a young boy. Let’s call him Jonny. He’s sitting quietly at the top of the stairs, hearing voices raised below. His dad is angry again. His mum is upset. This isn’t new — but tonight feels different. Later, Jonny sees something he can’t unsee. His dad with another woman. The betrayal is […]