A safety plan is a practical, personal set of steps designed to help you stay as safe as possible — whether you are still in the relationship, preparing to leave, or have already left. You do not need to have made a final decision about leaving to start thinking about safety. Planning ahead, even in small ways, can make an enormous difference when the moment comes.
Every situation is different. What works for one person may not work for another, and a domestic abuse specialist can help you build a plan tailored specifically to your circumstances. This article covers the key essentials to get you started.
If You Are Still in the Relationship
Even before you are ready to leave, there are steps you can take to increase your safety day to day.
Identify the safest rooms in your home — ideally ones with a door that locks and an exit route. Knowing in advance where you would go during an escalation can help you act quickly without having to think in the moment.
Tell someone you trust what is happening. Having one person who knows your situation means someone is watching out for you, can check in regularly and knows when to raise the alarm if they do not hear from you.
Agree a code word with that person — something you can say in a normal conversation or by text that signals you need help without alerting the person causing harm.
If possible, keep your phone charged and accessible at all times.
Building Your Emergency Bag
If you share a home with the person causing harm, having essentials ready to take at short notice can save vital time. Where possible, keep a bag packed and stored somewhere safe — at a trusted person’s home is ideal.
Your bag might include:
- Identification documents — passport, birth certificate, driving licence
- Children’s documents if relevant — birth certificates, passports, medical records
- Financial essentials — bank cards, some cash, account details
- Medication and medical information
- A spare phone charger
- A change of clothes for you and any children
- Any evidence you have gathered — copies of messages, a diary of incidents
If keeping a physical bag feels too risky, focus on getting copies of key documents to a trusted person or storing them securely in a digital format outside the home.
Protecting Yourself Digitally
Digital safety is an important and often overlooked part of safety planning. Abusive partners frequently use technology to monitor, track and control.
Before you take any steps to leave, consider whether your partner has access to your location through a shared phone plan, Find My iPhone or similar apps. Check whether any devices in the home — phones, tablets, smart speakers — could be used to monitor conversations or movements.
Use a device your partner does not have access to for any sensitive searches, calls to support services or communication with people helping you. A private browser is a start, but a separate device is safer.
Our article on online safety covers digital footprints, blocking and social media protection in more detail.
When You Are Ready to Leave
If possible, plan to leave when the other person is not present. Choose a time when you have a clear window and somewhere confirmed to go.
Let someone know your plan — the time you intend to leave, where you are going and when to expect to hear from you. If they do not hear from you by a certain time, they should know to act.
If leaving feels immediately dangerous, contact your local domestic abuse service before you go. They can help arrange emergency accommodation and support your exit in ways that reduce risk.
If you are in danger at the point of leaving, call 999.
After You Have Left
Leaving does not automatically end the risk, and safety planning does not stop the moment you walk out the door.
If your partner knows your new address, speak to a domestic abuse specialist about your options. Legal protection — including non-molestation orders — can be put in place quickly and does not require a lengthy court process to obtain.
Inform people who need to know — your workplace, your children’s school, trusted neighbours — that your partner should not have access to you or your children. You do not need to share details, simply that there is a safety concern.
Keep documenting any contact, threats or incidents after separation. That record matters if you need legal protection later.
Getting a Personalised Safety Plan
The steps above are a starting point. A domestic abuse specialist can work through a personalised safety plan with you that accounts for your specific level of risk, your living situation, whether children are involved and any other factors particular to your circumstances.
You do not have to be ready to leave to make that call. Reaching out for advice is a step in itself — and the right support can help you plan in a way that keeps you as safe as possible, whatever you decide to do next.
